A grey, horned, thirteen year old alien climbs up on the bartop.
"ATTENTION DEGENERATE HUMAN MOUTHBREATHERS AND ASSOCIATED NONHUMAN BAR HANGERS ON LOUNGING AROUND THE VICINITY. I AM NOW YOUR LEADER, IN THE ADMITTEDLY LIMITED SENSE THAT I AM IN CHARGE OF DISPENSING THE LIQUID REFRESHMENT YOU ALL CRAVE. I WILL BE A WRATHFUL AND MERCILESS ALCOHOLIC
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